When someone is diagnosed with a below the belt cancer including prostate, bladder, kidney, testicular or penile cancer the impact reaches beyond the person receiving the diagnosis. Partners, family members and friends often find themselves taking on a new and unexpected role is that of a carer.
For so many, this role begins pretty much overnight. Quite often, there may be appointments to attend, treatment decisions to navigate and practical arrangements to make, all while trying to process the diagnosis themselves. Without necessarily identifying as a carer, they become an important source of support throughout the cancer journey.
More often than not, caring is often unpaid, unplanned and undertaken out of love but that doesn’t mean it comes without a cost.
It reaches more than the ‘being there’.
The work carers undertake can be wide-ranging and often invisible. It might mean driving someone to appointments, collecting prescriptions, managing medications, keeping track of treatment information or communicating with healthcare professionals. It can also involve helping with daily activities, providing personal care, managing household responsibilities and supporting someone through the physical effects of treatment.
Just as important is the emotional support carers provide. They may be the person who listens to fears about the future, offers reassurance before a procedure or helps their loved one cope with changes to their body, confidence, relationships or independence.
Below the belt cancers can bring additional sensitivities. Changes to sexual function, continence, fertility and body image can affect both the person diagnosed and those closest to them. These conversations aren’t always easy, and carers may be navigating their own concerns while trying to support someone else. Someone they love.
Unlike a paid job, caring rarely comes with a job description, set hours or formal training. People often step into the role because someone they love needs them. They may reduce their working hours, take time off, manage additional expenses or put their own needs aside to keep everything running.
And while caring can be deeply meaningful, it can also be exhausting, isolating and emotionally demanding. Carers may feel they need to stay strong for everyone else, leaving little room to acknowledge their own fears, grief or uncertainty.
Recognising carers means acknowledging that they, too, are affected by cancer and may need information, practical assistance, emotional support and time to look after themselves.
As a community, we can do more to ask carers how they are coping, include them in conversations where appropriate, and help them find support before they reach breaking point. Healthcare professionals, researchers and support organisations all have a role to play in understanding carers’ needs and ensuring these are not overlooked.
Because improving the lives of people affected by cancer also means recognising the people who walk beside them often quietly, often without pay, and often without ever expecting to become carers in the first place.
If you happen to find yourself taking on the role as Carer, have a look at these resources